What the World Needs Now: Tim Curry Action Figures

Legend was on Joox last night, which got me thinking again about the question of whether it’s dumb or cool. That got me looking for pix of Tim Curry’s character, “The Lord of Darkness” (See? Dumb!) and in turn clued me in to the existence of Lord of Darkness collectible statuettes. Of course, I now see how silly it was for me not to anticipate that there would, naturally, be a market for such things.

Anyhoo, it led me to the most brilliant idea of all time: A line of Tim Curry collectibles. Like, Tim in some of his more colorful roles, reproduced in high-quality plastic. Sorry, I mean resin. I get those two confused.

Here, a few possibilities:

Rocky Horror Picture Show
Natch. They could sell these in “regular” and “runny-mascara-’I'm Going Home’” styles, like with the Warriors “clean” and “dirty” sets.

Clue
Simple, sure. But Clue was a really good movie. Come to think of it, we need Clue collectibles, too.

Loaded Weapon
Dunno anything about it, but this costume is fun.

Doomrunners
Again, no clue — though I think it was a TV show. But that leather is simply divine! Clearly, he should have been one of the villains in Superman 2.

William Shakespeare: His Life and Times
For God’s sake, just make the hat removable. I want to try it at every angle.

Charlie’s Angels
I couldn’t find a still of it, but they’d have to do him in the big sumo suit. When he battles Bill Murray (another excellent candidate for an action-figure line.)

So, yeah. How do we make this happen? Tim, are you reading this? Commission plastic figures of yourself THIS MINUTE!

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P.S. Actually, we should probably include a couple of his biggest roles, in Annie and Congo. As Annie’s Rooster he’s a cinch with the ’stache and 1930s togs:

Not so much with Congo, though, which is why I didn’t include it before. Does he perhaps wear a pith helmet at some point in that movie? If not, our best bet would be this look: