Brust Does Firefly, Brust Does Life

Actual Published Author Steven Brust has released a Firefly fanfiction novel online. Rumor has it he wrote it as an authorized tie-in, but then the publisher kiboshed it so he’s giving it away free.

On the page announcing the novel, Brust’s pal Kit O’Connell writes, “Steve has requested you email me if you find any typos, errors, etc in the files.” Um… I think you should reconsider that, Kit. Do you really want to hear from umpteen anal-retentive Browncoats? Take that address down NOW.

Not that I’m surprised at O’Connell’s civic-mindedness/codependency, given his account of playing the game Morrowind on his blog. Discussing the “realness” of imaginary worlds, he describes what he did when he accidentally killed a farmer’s cow: “I ran back over to the stalwart rancher to see his reaction. Should I pay a fine? Would he challenge me to a duel?” What? When you kill a cow, you don’t negotiate with the farmer, you RUUUUUN! Or better yet just kill the farmer. Sheesh!

It was a slow day when I ran across this stuff, so I proceeded to develop an unhealthy fascination with these guys’ personal lives. (In my defense, they wrote all about themselves online.) A random pic of half-naked hippies Brust and O’Connell are apparently involved in some sort of familial ménage with a woman. (Fingercuffs!) Also, Brust is a Trot. I think you can see where this is going: Family Meetings From HELL.

“Steve, I know you didn’t mean to buy the creamy-style peanut butter, but it’s still upsetting me.” “I hear you, Kit, but I’m not sure how to make it up to you. Maybe if I give up quilted toilet paper until the jar runs out?” “But guys, *I* like quilted toilet paper *and* creamy peanut butter. Isn’t there a way to compromise?” “Maybe we could alternate jar-to-jar.” “And roll-to-roll.” “But there are three of us, so that means that I’d only get my way a third of the time.” ” …Are you sure your math is right?”

Speaking of crippling neuroses, at first I felt guilty about making fun of these guys and took the “fingercuffs” comment out of there. Then I saw the following picture (from Brust’s website) and put it back in.