Hellraiser/Star Trek: Weirdest crossover ever?

There is such a thing as Hellraiser/Star Trek fanfiction.

It’s not actually as surreal as I expected — and not just because the Borg and Clive Barker’s Cenobites clearly shop from the same closet.

hellraiser-star-trek-borg-outfits

Actually, Hellraiser’s demon-summoning puzzle box makes quite a nice symbol for Star Trek’s main theme of humans grappling with the unexpected dangers of technology.

hellraiser-puzzle-boxInstead of a puzzle box, the Trek characters have puzzles, a different one every week: a spaceborne malady, an inscrutable alien culture, an engine malfunction. In Star Trek, though, solving the puzzle always leads to a happy end. In Hellraiser, solving the puzzle leads to, well, Hell.

Whether a character is deliberately trying to reach the Cenobite world (read: purposeful technological development) or just tinkering innocently with what they think is an ordinary toy (unchannelled human curiosity), conquering the box triggers their doom. If only the Cenobites would obey the prime directive!

(Puzzling — and mockable — story excerpt after the jump.)

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Furries are artsy

Aha! A-HAAAA! So you people (in my head) had me thinking furries were passé and thus no longer mockable, but NOT HARDLY! In fact, furriness has entered the avant-garde mainstream. Make that fur, as in Fur, the new Diane Arbus biopic.

So nyah, all you “too mature to mock ludicrous fetishes” types. Now that it’s timely, I will laugh at them constantly. Check this out! (NSFW) HA! And this! (also NSFW) Hahahahaha! Furries are STUPID, get it?

And from the looks of it, so is the movie.

Here’s another couple of “Aminals” by artist Catharine Lyons.

aminal

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Television Without Pity’s Battlestar Forum Sucks

So I’ve been looking for someplace to yak about Battlestar Galactica online, and my first choice was a huge goose egg. Surprisingly, it’s Television Without Pity, one of the biggest and, arguably, hippest TV discussion sites online.

Alas, however engaging TWOP’s forums on Project Runway and Lost, its BSG forum has fallen into the moist grip of super-fans.

Take, for example, the proliferation of fannish vocabulary, especially the inexcusable “frack” for “fuck.” If you want to separate yourself from normal human society to the point of adopting a made-up expletive, this forum is the place to do so. Same if you prefer to invoke “the Gods” instead of God. TWOP’s posters also use a particularly disgraceful coinage I hadn’t seen before: “Humlon,” as in “Humanoid Cylon.” Oh, jeez. They really are trying to make normal people ashamed to admit we like this show, aren’t they? Even “Hulon” would have been better. Or, wait! Better still, just say … “Humanoid Cylon.” I like it!

Then there are all the emotional-explosion posts. The kind that make you wonder if the author is actually a 13-year-old girl, or just talks like one online.

–“I think Istopped breathing at several points during the premiere.” [If only! -ed.]

More after the jump.

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