Buck Rogers Space Gun Solution

Nice work, Omega Man X! The guns in the Buck Rogers space gun contest were indeed from…

buck-rogers

1) Battlestar, 2) Dr. Who, 3) Blake’s 7 and 4) Buck Rogers. Most worthy of scrutiny is the Blake’s 7 gun, which a fan hand-made with what was clearly way too much effort. “The clear ribbed section was a nightmare,” he writes. “I resorted to carving each ring by hand from a perspex sheet. It took about a day per ring!”

Good grief. For a better use of time, jump on the ole “toys were better in the olden days” bandwagon and enjoy these pix of 1940s Buck Rogers stuff. (Or, for space guns of every variety, go here. )

buck-guns

More guns after the jump.

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K-Fed equals Vogon poetry

hitchhikersWhile reviewing a highly amusing page of Amazon tags for Kevin Federline’s album (examples: “douche,” “rich wife,” “music to make you long for the sweet release of death”), I discovered that not one, not two but six users tagged it “aka Vogon poetry.” As in Vogons, the baddies in Douglas Adams’ (R.I.P.) Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Not bad considering only four users tagged the album “wannabe” and the supremely apt “douche” was selected by a mere one.

But Brit’s ex aside, there are plenty of Amazon products that merit this excellent tag. Not to mention that using it a lot creates a nice ad hoc Adams tribute. I just tagged Diddy’s Press Play, Lady Sovereign’s Public Warning and the Rembrandts’ greatest hits. Won’t you join me?

Remember, it’s aka, not a.k.a.

(Thanks, Trite, for the Amazon tag link.)
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Buck Rogers Space Gun Challenge

On top of South Park’s well-meted skewering of Richard Dawkins last week (or, at least, Dawkins’ skewering of Ms. Garrison — Haw!) I was psyched to see the reference to 1979-81’s Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Nobody ever talks about that show. Nobody ever buzzes about a remake. Nobody ever asks, “What happened to Gil Gerard?”

gil-gerard-buck-rogers-shirtless

When I try to source my own nostalgia for the show, it comes down to the white jumpsuits and the Betty-and-Veronica vibe between Princess Ardala and Erin Gray.*

????????????????? Otherwise, I admit it, it sucked. But I have to ask, what really distinguished it from other 1970s low-budget sci-fi shows? Buck Rogers, Dr. Who, Battlestar Galactica and Blake’s 7 all had actors standing around cheap sets brandishing the prop department’s imaginative notion of space guns.

Maybe it’s the guns. So here’s the question: Which toy/model gun is from which 70s show? See the pictures after the jump.

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Hellraiser/Star Trek: More crossover fanfic

More Star Trek/Hellraiser crossover fanfic.

star-trek-borg-torso MISDIRECTED CALL by LILYWHITE
a.k.a. “The Borg get Pwned”
What happens: The Borg try to assimilate Hell, but it doesn’t work out like they’d hoped.
Notable cheese: “a set of chains latched onto the [Borg] soldier. It made an animal sound of pain, never having learned how to scream.” [“Moo!” –ed.]

“We are here to show you the full capacity of experience for the flesh.” [say the Cenobites.]

“The flesh is irrelevant. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.” [say the Borg.]

Xiphos blinked. “The flesh is irrelevant?” A worse blasphemy could hardly be spoken! Surely these creatures were in denial. But then, they began to attack. The four cenobites caused the other hallways to close on themselves, crushing the soldiers who had not yet egressed.

pinhead-hellraiser-dollHELLTREK by NIKOLAI KINGSLEY
Which Trek: Next Generation (but with this guy’s friends standing in for some characters, I think)
What happens: Holodeck pranks spook a crewmember. She arrives on the “bridge” to find that, well… “The crew weren’t wearing regulation Starfleet uniforms. Commander Riker – like the others – was dressed in some sort of black leather ceremonial robe.” Etc.
Notable cheese: “The doors of a turbolift appeared in the wall behind her, trails of spider-web stretched across the opening. It had [a] tomb-like, gothic air, and was poorly lit.”

Excerpts:

“She carefully pushed aside a few of the chains and made her way down to her station, shuddering when she had to touch a chain with a large chunk of dead, rotted flesh spitted on the hook.” …

“Acting Ensign Strepsil was working the navigational console with skewers through his cheeks, poking out from the sides of his head, and she barely fought down the impulse to shrink back in her seat when he gave her a horrible grin.” …

“Captain Picard stepped down to her station and placed a hand on her shoulder, the white fingers resembling frozen earthworms. ” …

“Amber went over to Acting Science Officer Arifel and whispered, “What the hell is going on here?” She tried to ignore the spikes which, inserted underneath his chin, crossed over inside his mouth and emerged from his temples. Amber wished she’d retained some of the Betazed powers in her ancestry; now, more than ever, she wanted to know what he was feeling.

Note that Amber’s first concern (like Bashir’s, yesterday) when faced with this situation is to act like everything is normal. Sit at your station, find something appropriate to say, ignore the captain’s earthworm fingers, and all will be well. Trekkian optimism at its finest!