K-Fed equals Vogon poetry

hitchhikersWhile reviewing a highly amusing page of Amazon tags for Kevin Federline’s album (examples: “douche,” “rich wife,” “music to make you long for the sweet release of death”), I discovered that not one, not two but six users tagged it “aka Vogon poetry.” As in Vogons, the baddies in Douglas Adams’ (R.I.P.) Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Not bad considering only four users tagged the album “wannabe” and the supremely apt “douche” was selected by a mere one.

But Brit’s ex aside, there are plenty of Amazon products that merit this excellent tag. Not to mention that using it a lot creates a nice ad hoc Adams tribute. I just tagged Diddy’s Press Play, Lady Sovereign’s Public Warning and the Rembrandts’ greatest hits. Won’t you join me?

Remember, it’s aka, not a.k.a.

(Thanks, Trite, for the Amazon tag link.)
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Jesus: Battlestar ain’t no Firefly

jesusJesus Christ has a lot on His mind lately, what with the Mexican election, Katherine Harris and His blog. But He still finds time to Tivo. A couple months back, when presenting the Jesus Christ TV Awards, He contentiously declared Battlestar Galactica to be “Science Fiction Taking A Step Backward From Firefly.”

Needless to say, that judgment would raise hackles even if it didn’t come from the Most High. I emailed Him and asked for an elucidation of His views, and — Praise the Lord! — He took time to write back.

Dear Lord, thanks for taking my questions. In Your eyes, what’s wrong with BG?

Before I ruffle your feathers all up, let Me start by saying I absolutely love Battlestar Galactica. I totally think it’s a wonderful show. However, it’s no Firefly. That show had it going on!!! It took all the Star Trek/Star Wars clichés and messed ’em all up.

What’s the connection between Firefly, Star Wars and Star Trek?

Everything Lucas did wrong in the last 3 Star Wars films, Firefly did right. Firefly made sci-fi hip again, leaving just enough genre cheese to keep one foot firmly in the “space serial” canon, but with that foot firmly planted in whatever-it-was that made Han Solo so cool. What Lord Of The Rings did with fantasy, Firefly could have done with science fiction. Granted, it didn’t… and being God, I know why: Fox didn’t have faith in it and the movie sucked.

Do You think BG is too old-fashioned?

Battlestar Galactica is a great show, but it will only win over fans who already love good science fiction. It’s always felt stiff and serious and important, which they really do well… but that’s what people expect from sci-fi, and that’s why I say it’s a step backwards from Firefly.

Thanks for Your thoughts! Anything else to add?

Believe in Me or go to Hell.

***

P.S. Not God, but close: Joss Whedon on BG (link via Windy City Mike.)

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Celebrity gossip site dishes on Megatron

megatron-transformers-1The Superficial is a celebrity gossip site covering the likes of K-Fed, Jared Leto … and now Megatron. “Megatron gets ass raped,” the site declared Friday over a giant pic. “[This item is] not really celebrity related, but what did those bastards do to Megatron?”

The site’s stable of commenters weighed in with their own objections, noting, “Michael Bay is a tard,” “That’s Darth Vader’s fuckdoll” and “It’s the Super Shredder from TMNT2… not Megatron.”

I guess there isn’t such a hard-and-fast line between geek news and gossip as some people would like to believe. “Some people” being the management at Reddit, who have a whole separate site, Lipstick, for the sorts of things the ladies are interested in. Reddit’s Alexis Ohanian describes Lipstick as “a bit of a guilty pleasure for us – it’s like braincandy.” As opposed to Reddit, where all topics are crucially important and mind-bendingly complex.

But getting back to Megatron, here’s more from The Superficial:

“Megatron’s maw looks like a metallic, puckered butthole”

“It’s Lindsay Lohans who ha”

“If Megatron isn’t a celebrity in this day and age I don’t want to live anymore. That being said, that is the stuff of nightmares and German industrial singer jizz”

For more Megatron comments, see this post at I Watch Stuff.

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