Fantasy throwdown finale

Just FYI, I finally cobbled together a response to the screaming hordes of fantasy fans calling for my head in the “Don’t Talk to Me About Reading” post. You can read it here.

For your convenience, the “Fantasy Throwdown” — the most popular and most vilified series of posts in the storied history of this blog — went like this:

The original post: “Don’t talk to me about reading — or, cranky much?”

The followup: Yeeeeaugh! More on the fantasy throwdown”

The Postscript: Where I explain myself… again.

Yeeeeaugh! More on the fantasy throwdown

frankenstein-castle-torch-mobSomething awe-inspiring happened today.

People actually… uh… read this blog.

Unfortunately, they all hate me.

(More after the jump.)

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Don’t Talk To Me About Reading, Or, Cranky Much?

Have you ever noticed how much fantasy fans read? It’s really astonishing. My fantasy-fan friends have always had the most packed bookshelves, even more than mystery/thriller fans. (Sci-fi fans can’t even compare.) One time I saw an apartment whose owners had a large room devoted to their mostly-fantasy book collection. They had giant shelves lined up across the room library-style, all packed with paperbacks. You literally had to use an aisle between the shelves to cross the room. It was wild.

Of course, they’re really proud of this chew-through-the-phonebook capacity. Take for instance the recently concluded Once Upon A Time Challenge sponsored by the blog Stainless Steel Droppings. Continue reading

I Told You That Bitch Was Crazy

Do you ever wonder how your fandom stacks up to others, craziness-wise?

arkham-asylum

Like, say you’re a comic book guy. When it’s time to head for the Great Mental Institution In The Sky, are you and your friends going to be walking behind the Ren Faire people, or will the sound of lutes and fifes be filtering up from the rear as you set your Chuck T-clad foot upon the first great marble step? (Actually, you can probably feel pretty safe that it’ll be the former — for what that’s worth. Be ready to stare at a lot of fat butts in farthingales as you trudge past Normal People Heaven.)

(And yeah, once you pass the Pearly Gates, the Great Mental Institution In The Sky is actually farther back than Normal People Heaven. But that’s just because they built it first!)

Anyhoo, I now know without a doubt who the craziest fans are. It’s anime fangirls.

fullmetal-alchemist Li’l Tuffy has recently become addicted to certain obliquely homoerotic Japanese television shows. And I want to gab about them. But it’s impossible, because Every Single Anime Fan In America is a nerdy, high-strung 20-year-old college girl. Which means everyone on anime fan forums is, too. And yeesh, I never used to worry about the State Of America’s Youth, but I’m telling you … you would quail.

The latest example: In the Livejournal community devoted to my favorite show, I posted a topic saying, “I think the movie version sucks. Let’s talk about why.” So, natch, all these people post reasons why it doesn’t suck. Including one person who asks why I have to be “so negative.”

But one brave soul begs to differ! She starts her post with, “I don’t want to offend anyone, but I actually agree with Tuffy.”

She doesn’t want to OFFEND ANYONE …

By criticizing a MOVIE.

It gets better! I posted a reply saying something like, “I think your opinions are heresy and you should be tarred and feathered.” Some over-the-top joke like that. And…

She DELETED HER POST

and

APOLOGIZED.

So, yeah. There it is. When I die, I’m finding a way to bring along some magazines. ‘Cause there’s gonna be a hell of a bottleneck at that intake desk.

Nurse_Ratched

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S.I.

Today, everyone’s favorite ’80s icon.

And I do mean everyone’s.
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Pure Fandom

Just how experienced a fan are you? Find out by answering these questions taken verbatim from a variety of fandom purity tests.

Or you could just try to figure out which fandoms they all come from. If you’re not man enough to know the answers, that is.

——

-Who was supposed to die in the pilot episode?
-Can you name at least 5 letterers?
-Have you ever named a slashfic character after yourself?
-Do you own a Holy Anorankh?
-Have you ever called for the horrible, gruesome, bloody death of Joel Schumacher?

 joel-schumacher

-Who spoke these lines: “It changes nothing. Tauvo is dead. Struck down by a weak, pathetic, inferior being. It must be avenged! I swear in Tauvo’s name, you will die in my hands.”
-Have you ever seen any Dragon Ball? Do you think it is the best anime ever, far above all others, and the standard by which all other anime should be judged?
-Have you sung any ‘Monty Python’ song at Rocky Horror?

rocky-horror

-Did you rent The Professional just because it had Transformers episodes playing in the background in several scenes? Did you repeatedly watch The Professional in order to figure out which episodes they were? Did you figure it out?
-Have you ever told an anti-Alliance joke?
-Do you know which singer Neil Gaiman is friends with?
-Did you buy the Lexx DVD set and take its included purity test?
-Have you spent between $1000 and $10,000 on Animaniacs-related stuff?

animaniacs

-How many Land of the Lost episodes do you have a specific memory of?
-Where’s the Crouching Groucho?
-Do you know the significance of Totter’s yard?
-Have you ever met any Seiyuu?
-Have you ever asked someone if they can see the thestrals too, then refused to explain what a thestral is?
-Do you know what the opening music for Gundam Wing is called?
-How many theme songs do you know by heart and sing along with? (Just give yourself a bunch of points.)
-Have you ever had to prove to somebody’s family that you’re not a psychotic axe-murderer?

(I might have made up a couple of the questions.)

Plus, a special bonus question after the jump.

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Thugs, Balls and Freud: Prince of Tennis

japan_map

The Promised Land.

The question, as far as I can see: With such a huge, nay overwhelming, nay soul-crushing glut of hackneyed swill in American entertainment, why would anyone go to the trouble of searching out another country’s hackneyed swill? Not to mention buying, or downloading and seeking out amateur translations (aka “fansubs”) of, said garbage? As in the case of, say, a lot of anime?

I guess it comes down to fetish. Some people stumble upon Inuyasha on the Cartoon Network and have some kind of bone-deep chemical response to the giant eyes, and that’s it. They scoff at Dancing With the Stars, smirk at The O.C. and spend hours and hours gabbing on message boards and writing fanfiction and making fan art about… say…

Prince of Tennis.

Let’s chat more after the jump…

prince-tennis

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Bat-ernational?

Oh brother, just as I was firmly resolving to stop paying so much attention to this blog, I run into a coincidence like this. Within a 24-hour period I see…

Putin visits the Batcave! Or at least his new hi-tech security HQ. Which inexplicably has a Batman symbol on the floor. (Also, four out of five political leaders and state administrators in Russia either have been or still are members of the security services, and stuff.)
But maybe the Batcave shouldn’t come as such a shock. After all, Putin has been known to talk about Cthulu.

AND AS IF THAT WEREN’T ENOUGH…

Melbourne, Australia not only has a Batman Park, but the city itself was almost named BATMANIA!

You have to kind of squint to see the words “Batman Park” on the sign. Visit the link (at Broken Glass Makes Me Laugh) for a bigger version.

Unreal.

I don’t even give a shit about Batman, but, really, unreal.

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