Rowling Sucks Some More: An Anti-Potter Saturnalia

deathly-hallows-cover Just to sustain the unproductive negativity of the last post, here’s another round of J.K. Rowling-bashing for anti-Potterites or just people who enjoy being all “nonconformist” and stuff.

First, a couple of helpful links: To skip reading Deathly Hallows at all, go here. Also, you can watch Brad Neely’s Sorcerer’s Stone commentary soundtrack on YouTube.

But enough of that. Let’s get hurtful!

Infectious_Mononucleosis_3“I HATE HAVING MONO and having to work on Harry Potter night. I thought I was going to die. We had a line wrapped around for 4.5 hours. I had to step away a few times before I blew chunks in someone’s latte. I hope Harry dies.”LiveJournaler Kelly

“AMERICA, YOUR TASTE IN READING SUCKS, your reading comprehension is poor, and you wouldnt know the difference between a static and dynamic character if they both hit you.” — MySpacer Johnny Trash

“PATRONIZING, VERY CONSERVATIVE, HIGHLY DERIVATIVE … a pedestrian, ungrammatical prose style which has left me with a headache …” — Whitbread book award judge Anthony Holden

More after the jump…

Continue reading

Rowling Sucks! An Antidote to Mass Hysteria

jk-rowling

Jo.

 Sick of J. K. Rowling? Me too. Whether you hate Harry Potter or just need a palate cleanser, here are a few choice anti-Potter rants for your misanthropic snuggle-time.

***

dorothy-parker

Dot.

GOBLET OF FIRE WAS NOT a book to be put down lightly but, as Dorothy Parker once put it, to be hurled with some force to the corner of the room. Rowling’s prose is as flat (and as English) as old beer, while Harry himself is not a boy of depth or subtlety.” — Guardian (U.K.) literary editor Robert McCrum

“THE MAIN BAD GUY IS A TOTAL BITCH. He’s like a combination of the Penguin from the old Batman and Robin TV show and one of the bad guys from Scooby Doo, always getting punked by a kid. At this point, how threatening can he be?” — blogger Kevin Palmer (PointlessBanter.net)

“IF YOU CALL ME A MUGGLE I am going to rip out your larynx with my nephew’s Tonka truck backhoe.” — Kevin Palmer again (PointlessBanter.net)

MORE after the jump…

Continue reading