I Told You That Bitch Was Crazy

Do you ever wonder how your fandom stacks up to others, craziness-wise?

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Like, say you’re a comic book guy. When it’s time to head for the Great Mental Institution In The Sky, are you and your friends going to be walking behind the Ren Faire people, or will the sound of lutes and fifes be filtering up from the rear as you set your Chuck T-clad foot upon the first great marble step? (Actually, you can probably feel pretty safe that it’ll be the former — for what that’s worth. Be ready to stare at a lot of fat butts in farthingales as you trudge past Normal People Heaven.)

(And yeah, once you pass the Pearly Gates, the Great Mental Institution In The Sky is actually farther back than Normal People Heaven. But that’s just because they built it first!)

Anyhoo, I now know without a doubt who the craziest fans are. It’s anime fangirls.

fullmetal-alchemist Li’l Tuffy has recently become addicted to certain obliquely homoerotic Japanese television shows. And I want to gab about them. But it’s impossible, because Every Single Anime Fan In America is a nerdy, high-strung 20-year-old college girl. Which means everyone on anime fan forums is, too. And yeesh, I never used to worry about the State Of America’s Youth, but I’m telling you … you would quail.

The latest example: In the Livejournal community devoted to my favorite show, I posted a topic saying, “I think the movie version sucks. Let’s talk about why.” So, natch, all these people post reasons why it doesn’t suck. Including one person who asks why I have to be “so negative.”

But one brave soul begs to differ! She starts her post with, “I don’t want to offend anyone, but I actually agree with Tuffy.”

She doesn’t want to OFFEND ANYONE …

By criticizing a MOVIE.

It gets better! I posted a reply saying something like, “I think your opinions are heresy and you should be tarred and feathered.” Some over-the-top joke like that. And…

She DELETED HER POST

and

APOLOGIZED.

So, yeah. There it is. When I die, I’m finding a way to bring along some magazines. ‘Cause there’s gonna be a hell of a bottleneck at that intake desk.

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Thugs, Balls and Freud: Prince of Tennis

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The Promised Land.

The question, as far as I can see: With such a huge, nay overwhelming, nay soul-crushing glut of hackneyed swill in American entertainment, why would anyone go to the trouble of searching out another country’s hackneyed swill? Not to mention buying, or downloading and seeking out amateur translations (aka “fansubs”) of, said garbage? As in the case of, say, a lot of anime?

I guess it comes down to fetish. Some people stumble upon Inuyasha on the Cartoon Network and have some kind of bone-deep chemical response to the giant eyes, and that’s it. They scoff at Dancing With the Stars, smirk at The O.C. and spend hours and hours gabbing on message boards and writing fanfiction and making fan art about… say…

Prince of Tennis.

Let’s chat more after the jump…

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Keep those cartoon legs crossed!

Who’s the bigger ho?

Paris Hilton…

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Or Fullmetal Alchemist character Winry Rockbell?


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The verdict is in!

“Winry: what’s with the tube top? you should know that a lot of my friends are calling you a slut” — E-Fiction.org

“Winry is pretty hawt…First she has the sweet ear-piercings and always shows lots of skin…Has the tight black tube-shirt on most times and whose hawtter bending down in her Daisey-Duke cut-off shorts” — AnimeSuki forums

“Winry looks like a slut” — AnimeNuke forums

A dissenting view:

“Her clothes aren’t showy. When she’s at home, she dresses in a tubetop because regular shirts could get in her way in her line of work. Not to mention it’s hot out in the country side and mechanics is hard work. And the pants that she wears is a jumpsuit and that is far from showy.” –– fullmetal-alchemist.com

Just so that’s cleared up.